Thursday, June 16, 2005
1:07 AM
Watched "绝对Superstar" just now and my family were commenting on the contestants when my dad suddenly asked me why I didn't take part in the competition. I don't mean to brag but to be honest, I think I would have stood quite a good chance against the 12 female finalists if not for the fact that I have stage fright and don't package myself well enough. But well, these are factors that could kill an aspiring singer even if they were to stand alone, and whats more, I happend to have 2 such achilles' heels, which was one of the main reasons I decided against going for the auditions even though I registered for the competition. Of coz, one factor that resulted in me not going for the auditions was coz of work, but seriously, if I really wanted to go for the auditions, I believe that nothing can stop me. So, its really a matter of me, myself and I not having the courage to face this coz I know very well what the outcome would be even if I were to turn up for the audition.
My mentality has always been such that if I already know or can preempt how an event is going to work out, I won't even bother giving it a try coz I believe that I'd just be wasting time. Guess this flaw in my character has caused me to miss out a great many chances in life, but I still don't seem to be learning from my past mistakes. Hmmm, high time for reflections.
There's a reason behind my lack of entries as of late. My mind's been flirting with some ideas, but I find it kinda difficult to pen them down or even talk about it. Maybe coz these ideas are too fleeting. Either that or my level of maturity is not high enough to comprehend fully whatever's struck me. *Shrugs*, guess I'll figure them out sooner or later. In the meantime, I'll just let my brain swim around these thoughts or rather, let the thoughts swim around my brain, whichever case you may deem right. Till then, so long.
- i make my life perfect -
